Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Disappointment - the recovery

In my previous blog, we discussed how to not end up too disappointed if our plans didn't work.

The nearest and most simple example I could give you is how you could recover from being fired from a job you really worked for. Let's say you worked for that company for 30 years.
That's almost half of your life. You were fired not because you were at the bottom of the performance pile. You were 'let go' simply because, the company can't afford to pay for your services anymore, or they have upgraded and less manpower is needed to run the company, or simply put, the company is bankrupt. This scenario happens a lot during these hard times.

So, how to recover from such situations. The company you worked for would have probably prepared a 'package' for you where options are stated and suggested for you to take on how you could 'start over.' That's good, but sometimes your boss does not have the guts to fire you himself, so they will hire someone else to do job for them. Now, that
would have hurt much wouldn't it? At this point, you are already thinking, "how on earth would I explain to my wife that I lost a job?," or, "i have a mortgage to pay, I have kids, what will I do now?!!" Well, that's pretty normal, some people on the other hand would freak out and smash things up in the office, shred important papers, or snipe somebody down. Who knows right?
Let's say we are in that situation. I myself, would also somehow panic. Probably be frantic to land a job right away, make a bargain how I could extend my work a little while applying for a new job, and blame the boss for whatever caused this to happen. In desperation, I might even ask the employer why I was 'let go'. I may or may not get an honest answer.

What we should do is instead of freaking out, I should even thank the person. There's no good in making a bad situation worse. Right? I might even ask a close friend or family member who can coach me on what wrong in my personality that I had to get fired.

On this note, we should be aware though that asking for honesty from someone close to you isn't for the weak of heart. You have to be willing to listen and ask for advice, without attacking the messenger.

The best thing to do at this point, is not really to relax but try to recompose ourselves. Think of the situation think of the possible answers to our problems. There are hundreds of alternatives out there. One effective way is to ask help from someone really close to you. Either it be your bestest best friend, your parents, your sister, your dog. The first and critically step is that you should let it go. Let others hear your sufferings, cry it out if you need to. Don't bottle it in.

This method doesn't apply just for people who lost their job. It applies to almost all aspects of disappointment from losing a bet for a FIFA match, losing a 24-million dollar lottery ticket, and even being left by someone you love.

It's a good way to release the stress by telling it. Sharing the burden won't hurt, especially if we're sharing it to people very close to us.

Another suggestion would be some alone time. Go to a place where you think you could think correctly, and stay in sanity. For some, it could be a walk in the beach, dipping in the pond, sipping a cup of coffee in your room, or even just sitting in the comfort room(yes, some people could think clearly when they're in the bathroom). For those who could afford it, you can ask for help from a career coach. But that wouldn't be too much of an option for most of us since we just lost a job right?

My main point here is that, if ever bad things come our way. Think of it on a positive manner. Think of it as if it was a test, with an answer given right in from of your face. The only difficult part is that between you and that answer is a very deep cliff that you would have to decide to cross, but there's a bridge somewhere near and you'll just have to find it.

Try praying, it helps. Not the prayer that you memorized when you were in fifth grade. But the prayer from your heart, be sincere. Every single event in our short lives has a reason why it happened, is happening and will continue to happen.

It's just a matter of keeping your cool. It won't be easy, it never was. But, we have to think ahead. Not just for ourselves, but also for the people who rely on us. Not only for our future, but for their future as well. It's normal. It's normal. That's being human. That's being you.

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